Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day and learning to let go

For years and years, decades perhaps, I've struggled with holidays, special occasions and dates like today. Mother's Day carries far too much sadness of what was, the things that never will be and those that it's time I let go of. I HATE holidays when everyone else seems to be flaunting their perfect families and fabulous brunches and gifts and flowers. I hate that I don't have the memories my friends are sharing about their moms and I find the entire thing pretty over-commercialized anyway.

But I'm on this new kick this year, well for the last two months anyway, where I'm beginning to see the sadness that comes with holding on to what is gone - or building up castles in one's head about the things that should be. Those two behaviors are what leads to an awful lot of heartache and sadness and disappointment and finally, as my 45th birthday creeps closer and closer, I think I'm growing up and working on loving the life I live now and letting go of part of the past. Still, today does carry some negativity with it so as a coping mechanism I decided to take a ride with my dogs, visit a park and take some ultra-cute pictures of them loving the afternoon. And then life happened which means it didn't quite work out like that and yet I'm bound and determined to write down the things that did take place, that I noticed or was amused by and just take the day at face value.

Things I've learned today.....

• Mother's Day can suck for some people. Be nice to others since they aren't all going out to brunch with their families and some folks are truly grieving for those gone too soon from their lives. Don't showboat.

• Even when people get really nice cars they are ok with putting stickers on them. I was behind a Mercedes...BMW...whatever has a 750 in it's name....that looked shiny and sparkly and expensive. And staring back at me was one of those Ravens stickers, the kind that one of the banks in Baltimore used to give away, on the car. When you have that kind of money invested in your wheels don't you care about rust or a faded oval? You put a FREE sticker promoting the M & T bank on your nice car. Huh.

• This is the first Mother's Day I honestly say has been much better for me. Today didn't suck because finally, after years of heartache, I'm learning how to detach from "the idea" of what makes up a caring and supportive mom. Letting go IS freedom. You can't make people into what you WANT them to be.

• Rain keeps pollen to a much more manageable level. While everyone was complaining for the last week about the on-again, off-again showers and downpours, I was celebrating being able to breath and enjoy walking the dogs. Guess life is all in what you make of it.

• It's better to decline an invite than to accept and then not show up because I, for one, get disappointed when you do that. Sometimes people, when they believe in a cause, are really excited for attendance and thrilled that you are participating. If you plan on bailing out just be honest from the jump. (this comes on the heels of a big event held yesterday that 20+ individuals didn't show up to. I was bummed out....honesty is good.... just be polite for Pete's sake if you can't make it.)

• There is a difference between cutting the grass where you park your car and cutting the grass around the car that you didn't move. Even if you have to PUSH it a few feet, it makes a difference especially when the house is for sale. Just sayin'.

• Hold your good friends close and the real ones closer. Even if you suck at relationships, try, because you can't buy loyalty. I would do just about anything for the ones who matter and I know they'd do the same. (well, they better).

• Let go of "perfect". Today for Mother's Day I thought it would be awesome to take our beloved hounds to Assateague and stroll by the water while avoiding the pollen. I tried to take pictures of them and it's really hard to hold three leashes and do that so I gave up, but back in the van, with cookies, I thought I'd get the perfect trio of perfect hounds. 23 clicks later you can see pretty much posted below what I got...."I'm gonna turn my back", blurry, "we are sleepy now", staring out the window, "OMG LOOK A BOAT"....there are no decent pictures in this collage and that's life. It doesn't always line up just right and that is okay. :)

Happy Mother's Day to all the super-awesome and incredible moms that I've been fortunate to know.

 "Life on Delmarva" • #delmarvausa