Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Changes: Dealing with an elderly parent (6/8/16, part 3)

June 8th, 3:30pm: I've been on the phone since 7:30am....

I've learned that in January 2015 they discovered a leaky heart valve that mom never followed up on or even told us about. That could possibly explain many of her symptoms over the last year but I'm also realizing with her being very intelligent, she is almost staying a step ahead of us. The doctor made a note of that in her file, saying she may be unable to process risks and outcomes and solutions, which all makes sense now - but in the back of my mind I'm thinking that she is very smart and that she can almost plan out what needs to be said Anything to get her way is how things go; she hates to hear no, doesn't want to listen to others and is determined to do exactly as she pleases....

Going forward....can she stay in her house if she accepts the new normal of caregivers coming in, home health care, etc? Up until now she has cancelled the ones we set up, refused to allow them in the house and ruined our relationships with the people we have tried to work with. I'm getting angry all over again just recalling the last few times this has happened. That BS ends now. I'm done.

If she comes home and as usual, goes behind my back and changes what's being set up that's it, into a facility she goes. My update to friends: "While it was a relief for the doctor to actually confirm the issues we have been struggling with for a year and a half, this is only the beginning of a very long process but it's going to happen."

Little did I know that some of the most challenging conversations and days were to follow.

"Life on Delmarva" • #delmarvausa