Friday, October 14, 2016

Changes, part 21: We did it. We signed papers to put her in a home.

Home from another very long day. Still hard to believe we signed the papers to put mom in a permanent facility. There weren't any other options and to allow her to return home would be dangerous and we believe, the setting for a downward spiral. I know all this and yet it's strange to see a house that she will never return to and to experience what feels like the beginning of the end. I'm very grateful for our friends, for sticking by us during a difficult time. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a spouse who in addition to having been able to deal with mom better than I over the last few years, has been involved with decisions over the last few weeks. I feel better knowing that he shares concern for her well-being. This wasn't at all a knee-jerk reaction and yet it's one that feels so painfully empty.

I'm sure in a few weeks or a month I'll look back and be thankful we had this opportunity for such an amazing place. I know we are lucky to have some funds and a long term insurance plan to help pay for this and that in itself is a huge relief. For now it feels oddly strange to be watching yet another chapter ending - almost as if I'm losing a parent for good. And then I realize I have already lost her.

"Life on Delmarva" • #delmarvausa