Friday, March 10, 2017

Woken Up | the Alarm Clock of a Conniving Basset Hound

Please congratulate me for I have found the world's most annoying alarm clock. ** THIS CAN BE YOURS FOR JUST TWO EASY PAYMENTS OF $49.99 **

It all begins with a braying donkey-like sound which causes the user to bolt out of bed in a panic thinking that something is totally wrong or disastrous. Once out of bed you proceed onto the front door, believing that the braying indicated an urgent need for some creature to have access to the outside world IMMEDIATELY, only to discover when you get to the door that there is nothing there.
Once you return to bed to pick up where you left off you discover that the main clock component has not only got you out of bed but has circled back around while you were stumbling incoherently and climbed BACK INTO YOUR WARM SPOT. And is currently utilizing your heating pad. ** FREE SHIPPING ** because it's illegal to send this through the mail.