What I learned this summer about Friendship

Where do I start - how can I summarize the last few months of wondering, confusion, sadness, and loss? What can I do to explain this hole in my life that opened up after losing someone special, after having to let go of something so precious, because another person.....changed. Something changed.....I don't even really know what it was, but I've learned that when people go through bad things, they sometimes cope by kicking everyone out of their lives, even the friends who cared so much. Too much, maybe.

I lost my best friend this summer. Yes, it turned into another summer of losing someone I cared about, just like last year - but this was a loss I wouldn't have seen coming in a million years. I adored the way we laughed together, worried over things together, cried, laughed, and shared frustrations and heartaches...... it made me feel not so alone, helped me realize I wasn't crazy.....and I felt it was no longer me against the world anymore, because I had you. On the other side of the coin, I loved being your friend, listening when you wanted to vent, being around when you needed to unload what weighed you down. I thought we would always be there for each other, because it felt like I'd found a sister I'd never had, and thought you felt the same, but I was wrong.

I thought you were the very best, prettiest, smartest, funniest friend I'd ever had....and then one day someone hurt you, badly. They said hateful things, unleashed a river of anger and bitterness at you, made themselves feel better by tearing you down. I felt my heart break for you when i found out, because it should never have happened this way. Normal people don't go around tearing others down; they don't attack and lash out and hurt people just because they are mean and miserable......i hoped you'd see that, my dear, sweet friend....and it never occurred to me you'd turn on me instead of the person who ripped you apart. I guess I became collateral damage, or revenge, or just someone to hurt, because i was there.....and you went and did all the things your enemy said you would; put up walls, tore down our friendship, threw us away like we'd never existed. This precious, beautiful person in my life who i felt such a sense of friendship and love for, suddenly hated me, despised our closeness.....and ran like hell.

You should never have plunged into the darkness over one person's attempt to tear you down....but I never thought I'd be next on your list. I miss you, forever, once-in-a-lifetime kind of friend. I miss us.

Thanks for stopping by my blog ~ 😊

community first • marketing consultant • advocate for small business • lover

of classic cars • beach girl • believer that "together we accomplish more"